The Blaggers Guide to...

Sci Fi (or Science Fiction) Here are a few things to remember when trying to hold a conversation with sci-fi geeks: When the question of who was the best Captain of the Enterprise comes up (it will), try to guess the persons age and apply this formula: <30yo = Picard >30yo = Kirk. If they then ask why, for Picard say 'Patrick Stewart is a great actor and his character and development was well written. And for Kirk, 'William Shatner was a tubby chancer who always got the girl/alien thing, and was ultimately more fun. The question of Favorite Films comes up: Do mention: Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back! Marvel Avengers Assemble - A.k.a. The Avengers (US) Escape from New York (if they are male) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (if they're female!?) Every 'even' numbered Star Trek movie upto and including First Contact. Don't Mention: (unless the conversation has changed to worst sci fi ever) Star Wars - The Phantom Menace (Intergalactic trade dispute.. Exciting!) Battlefield Earth (WTF?) Every 'odd' numbered Star Trek movie, but also including Nemesis. Which sadly broke this handy rule. A few quick things to remember: Superman doesn't like Kyptonite and has trouble seeing through lead and the colour pink Ironman's 'secret' identity is NOT Ozzy Osbourne The metal covering Wolverines bones is Adamantium (easy to remember, just hum 'Prince Charming' by Adam and the Ants) Han Solo shoots first, that's why he's cool. George Lucas changed it so Greedo shoots first, this is why he's NOT cool. Darth Vader is Luke Skywalkers Dad (Noooooo! Oh yes!) Luke Skywalker is Princess Leia Brother (Ewww! They kiss!) Spock's nerve pinch doesn't work in real life (shame, but no) Planet of the Apes (AHHH! It's really EARTH!) And Solent Green is PEOPLE! And finally, if the whole facade is slipping and they are beginning smell Babel Fish, try: 'Someone really needs to stop George Lucas before he makes Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Ewok Village.. 3D!' Should get you out of a tight corner.